Whip It (2009)

 Drew Barrymore's equivalent of a Happy Madison or Expendables picture - an excuse for her and her mates to have fun without really worrying about things like story or playing characters. There is almost zero conflict throughout this entire movie, it's inexplicably 1hr50m long, the derby scenes have very little sense of impact or speed, and all the Hurl Scout scenes feel like the business, staging and dialogue was figured out 5 minutes before they rolled. A good chunk of the excessive runtime is devoted to a pointless, dull post-Juno, post-Garden State romance where Page and some indie band guy absorb retro culture and have incredibly impractical underwater make-out sessions together.

Rating: Bad.

Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic (2008)

A clunky adaptation of the first two Discworld novels. It looks cheap, from the cinematography through the costumes and production design to the visual and special effects. It's mostly miscast, it fluffs every single comic and dramatic beat, and it fails to capture the 'hitchhiker's guide to high fantasy' feel of the original books. It needed to trim out unnecessary narrative to become a picaresque, episodic tale of Rincewind and Twoflower crashing through various situations, meeting fun characters and slowly becoming friends, with a heaping of wry parody on the side. Instead, it spends far too much time on the dull Unseen University story thread and rushes past the good stuff.

Rating: Bad.