Thursday, 13 February 2020

3 from Hell (2019)

Very disappointing - it feels like one of those direct-to-video sequels by a different creative team who copy all the wrong stuff from the original. It's just more of the same, but with none of the wit. The victims act stupid, the quips are thuddingly awful, the plot drags and meanders, instead of Michael Berryman playing a regular guy with no mention of his dysplasia there's Richard Edson browning up as a Mexican, and instead of making the Fireflys sympathetic this movie makes them dull. It even tries to recapture the standout Free Bird sequence from Devil's Rejects, but ends up taking 'In A Gadda Da Vida' from Manhunter and putting it over a standard shootout scene.
Although it was apparently unavoidable due to health issues, I suspect the heavily reduced role of Sid Haig plays a large part in how anonymous this movie feels.
It's a shame this didn't jump style again, perhaps to more of a Suspiria feel - there's a glimmer of what could have been when Baby hallucinates a ballerina cat through a crack in her prison cell wall, but sadly Zombie brings no more of his Halloween II/Lords Of Salem weirdness into play.
Rating: Bad

Monday, 10 February 2020

Afternoon Delight (2013)

A well put-together drama - well-acted, directed - but it boils down to 'a privileged couple realise they need to connect a bit more', which they do at the expense of a 22 year old homeless sex worker (we see her laughing with a bouncer outside a strip club so apparently she's fine), and the film doesn't address the fact that the men all get to do what they want and the husband is almost totally absent - a muttered half-apology is all he's held to account for.
Rating: Fine

Sunday, 9 February 2020

Shazam! (2019)

Atrocious.
Hugely derivative (Jon Glover as the villain's arsehole dad from Heroes and Smallville, the punk song/school book doodles end credits from Spider-Man Homecoming, the 'test out powers on home camera with a friend' from Heroes, a Don't Stop Me Now montage from every film since Shaun Of The Dead), an utterly bland villain, a structure that crams as much backstory as it can into the first half hour then spends 90 minutes doing nothing, and a dour, depressing tone that jars massively with Zach Levi's mugging and the occasional 'comedy' scene.
Rating: Awful

Thursday, 6 February 2020

Brad's Status (2017)

Subtle performances, and an effective portrayal of mid-life, middle-class, middle-success angst, but it was so interior and uneventful as to feel like it might have worked just as well or better as a short story.
Rating: Fine

Fighting with My Family (2019)

Solid performances, but a very simplistic story full of tropes and clunky writing. Plus, for the last ten minutes, the movie suddenly forgets that wrestling is fixed.
Rating: Fine

Tuesday, 7 January 2020

Long Shot (2019)

A Goldberg/Rogen production, which is a sweeter, though more lightweight, version of their typical joints. Gently amusing throughout, a strong supporting cast, and Theron and Raphael get good comedy stuff to do (unlike, say, Knocked Up or Superbad where the lead female actor gives a good performance but isn't given any comedy to do). It doesn't have a lot of bite to it, though, and by the end it surrenders to the standard romcom beats, and some of the supporting characters get left by the wayside.
Recommended as a fun, sweet watch but it's not up there with This Is The End, The Interview etc.
Rating: Good

Friday, 3 January 2020

Hellboy (2019)

Absolutely atrocious. It's like an alternate universe where the Spawn movie was successful and the same people rushed a Hellboy movie into production with not enough budget or time to do it properly. A script that keeps telling the characters and the viewer stuff they already know, with endless character origin flashbacks, heavily signposted twists, nonsensical motivations, inconsistencies and contradictions, a meandering structure full of dead-ends, and dialogue written by a 14 year old who's only ever watched Shane Black movies. Bad effects. Weird ADR covering up lack of coverage. Sasha Lane and Daniel Dae Kim both scuppered by having to do (bad) English accents.

It is incredibly frustrating that a Del Toro Hellboy III was deemed too risky yet this crap was pushed out to do all the same stuff again but worse and be immediately forgotten (despite, hilariously, having three separate sequel set-ups in a row at the end).

Rating: Awful